Why Social Media Makes You Feel Like Crap (and How to Stop Comparing)

Hey Kettlebell Fam!

We all have social media, at least most of us. While it's great for getting ideas, learning new things, reaching new people and promoting yourself or your business, it can also be pretty toxic and fake.

I have a career and a physique I love and am proud of, but even I fall into the "trap" that is social media: endless comparison to others, wondering if I'm doing enough, feeling like crap for no reason.

Social media is a highlight reel

Social media is a highlight reel of people's lives and businesses. It's what they want you to see.

One of the reasons I post the same stuff a lot of the time is that I do the same thing most of the time, and it's what works. My life isn't super extravagant. I wake up, train clients, get in a workout, edit some content, take some calls, and eat the same meals pretty much every day. That's it. What you see is what you get.

So why is it so easy to fall into the comparison trap?

What you see vs. what's really happening

Think about it. You're scrolling through your feed, and what do you see? Someone just closed a massive deal, another person is traveling the world, and that fitness influencer you follow just posted a crazy new move that will "blast your core and burn 1,000 calories a minute."

It's a constant barrage of attention-grabbing clickbait. You very rarely see the mess ups, the bad lighting, or the countless hours of grinding work behind the scenes.

My own behind-the-scenes

Even I'm guilty of it sometimes, to the point that people think all I do is work out all day and that's how I got here. Not the 4 years of college, the 17 years of lifting, or the 3 years of consistently posting, editing and learning (literally every day) on Instagram to launch this business. That's why I post what I actually do and what works.

Even with all that, I still have moments where I feel like I'm failing and not doing enough. I'm just like you. No better, no different. Just a guy who's passionate about something and not willing to give up. My life is far from perfect, and so am I.

Why comparison feels so bad

Our brains are wired to make sense of the world, and part of that is figuring out where we stand. But when the only data you're given is everyone else's prime moments, it's impossible not to feel like you're falling short.

You start measuring your messy, full, authentic life, with all its ups, downs and mundane moments, against someone else's carefully curated, highly filtered and often financially motivated highlight reel. It's like comparing your entire unedited documentary to a two-minute movie trailer. Guess what? The trailer's gonna be really exciting, because that's what draws you in.

It's not just about what people show, it's also about what they don't…the struggles, the moments of doubt, the nonstop grind. Those don't get likes or engagement. So we absorb this skewed reality, believing everyone else lives a life of constant breakthroughs and picture-perfect moments, while our own perfectly normal, often repetitive, sometimes challenging days feel extremely average and boring. And in a world screaming for extraordinary, average can start to feel pretty shitty.

There's nothing wrong with average

Here's the thing, average is where most of us live, most of the time. And there's an immense amount of peace, joy and fulfillment that is found there.

It's in the consistency, the small wins, the dull moments and the real connections (the ones that aren't broadcast to thousands online) that life is at its best. Your worth isn't determined by follower count, edited photos or perceived hustle. It's determined by who you are, how you show up for yourself and others, and the life you're genuinely building, one average and boring day at a time.

What actually helps

So what can you do on the days you feel down? Take care of yourself…consistently. It's honestly not that hard, and once you're in the habit, it gets so much easier. Hit the workouts that work and eat those same meals (you might even have to count calories). It'll help you feel a little better about yourself on the days you're feeling down. Trust me, I know.

You knew I had to throw in something about fitness, it is my job, after all. And if you want a simple routine to get you through it, try the Kettlebell Training App free for 7 days, or see what I eat in a day.

– Adam